Yesterday, a good friend passed away from complications from Lupus. He was only 20. He had been in the hospital more than out of it since the second week of October, so, while it was not something we wished for, his death was a constant thought in our minds. Yet that did nothing to lessen the sick feeling in my gut and the sting of tears in my eyes when I received word that he had passed on. When he went, he left not only all of his friends, but his family and fiancé as well. And now we all struggle to make peace with his passing and to find comfort where we can. Tonight a group of us traveled to visit his fiancé at her home. It was a good time of remembering and laughter. For a while, we were able to put aside grief as we talked with each other and played various games. But it seems that every conversation comes back around to him. We talked of his illness and of the young man that we knew before these last few months. He had been diagnosed with Lupus four years ago, but if one did not know that he was sick, it took a while to figure out. He was always full of laughter and had a particular brand of humour and sarcasm. He never felt sorry for himself, and didn’t like it when others made a fuss over him. He was fully determined to lead a full life and do the things he wanted to do. He was someone whom I feel honoured to have shared a part of my life with, and he will be sorely missed.
Death, especially of one so young, always brings with it complex and contradictory emotions and lines of thought for me. On the one hand, death is inevitable. Life feels so futile. What is the point of life if all we can look forward to is its end? Why did God give man life if he knew he was just going to die? It’s hard to wrap my mind around the purpose of living at a time like this. On the other hand, I am reminded of the fragility of life. It can be gone at any second and so we must treasure the life we are given and make the most of the time that we have. For me, that means taking chances, taking the opportunities that are presented, and not letting fear or timidity stand in the way.
So, until we meet again, rest in peace my friend and thank you for the life that you lived.
